One day on the school bus, six-year-old Martin gave a toy car he had brought from home to a boy with special needs. It struck him that no one wanted to sit next to the boy; fortunately, his plan worked, and the boy started focusing on things and stayed calm.
Martin's family was really surprised by the son's high E.Q.; they realized that it is a skill set with a lot of buzz saying that in the long run it matters more than I.Q.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman estimates that I.Q. makes up only 20 percent of what determines life success, and other factors such as E.Q., wealth, family, education levels, and luck make up the balance.
In his book, Emotional Intelligence, studies have proven future success in relationships, health, and quality of life.
There is also a relationship between high grades and E.Q. as it has been shown that students with high E.Q earn better grades; teachers also report that high E.Q. students tend to be more cooperative and make better leaders in the classroom.
There are three ways to measure emotional intelligence.
1.Self Report:
It is the most common method to measure things such as personality. Personality traits include warmth, empathy, anxiety, but they have lot of drawbacks, Emotional Intelligence consists of a number of skills, they are best measured by ability tests.
2.Ability tests:
We save the best for last, a typing tests does not ask you how you are, it doesn't ask a friend how fast can you type.
3.M.I.E S:
Multifactor Emotional Intelligence Scale :
The M.I .E.S developed by Jack Meyer, Dr .Peter Salovey and Dr. David Caruso consists of different parts .
Identify Emotions: the ability to recognize how those around you feel.
Understand Emotions : the ability to understand complex emotions and chains.
Using Emotions : Using emotions properly
After all, what we produce is ultimately what embodies another person's essence and shapes our actions.
Enlightened Entrepreneurship author , Myers stated that most of his colleagues with high I.Q would move ahead, when noticed that his son who was exceptionally bright , lacked what it takes to achieve success in both life and business is a matter of emotions , relationships and character rather than just raw intelligence.
A survey was conducted in the year 2011 of more than 2600 hiring managers and human resources professionals. It was found that 71% stated that they valued emotional intelligence in an employee over I.Q., and 59 percent claimed that they would pass a candidate with a high I.Q.
An American College Health Association survey of more than 123,000 students at 153 colleges in 2013 also revealed that more than half experienced overwhelming anxiety and one third felt intense depression during the school year.
The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind exposes and presents concepts that can support adults' responses to challenges and assert a foundation based on social and emotional development and resilience.
Parents struggle with emotional intelligence, particularly when we use the tactic of acting out with or around our kids. Rather than blaming, criticizing, and condemning and ignoring it, we can own up to the situation and mend the emotional harm.
Myers gave a very wise advice to his son that it doesn't matter how smart you are.
He explains that emotional intelligence enables to deeply touch human life, care for others , pushing people to success. It also makes you more resilient and foster grit, ultimately enabling us to overcome fear of failure and handle risks for future success.
Can EQ be learned?
Based on the extensive research that has been conducted, people have concluded that whereas IQ is fixed, EQ may be learned. Although many people have questioned if EQ can be learned, Dr. David Caruso said that this is a widespread fallacy and that people are actually unsure of how to develop it using analytical, intellectual, and skeptical skills.
With regular practice, some skills can be perfected over time. Since EQ encompasses a variety of natural traits that we must value for our mental, emotional, and spiritual health, developing it can be difficult.
1.Manage Negative thoughts:
We are the only ones who can control our emotions and strengthen ourselves to be more robust.
I want to talk about a few simple strategies that will improve our ability to think.
a. Sometimes, during a heated disagreement, we behave in a way that we later regret. It can be challenging to deal with such situations, so we must reply wisely to dispel those unfavorable thoughts and foster sensible ones.
b. As bad clouds continue to hover over us, avoid assuming anything, exaggerating, and drawing hasty conclusions.
c.. When we are in distress, take some time to consider the issue from various viewpoints and lenses; often, coming to an agreement is the most difficult thing to do.
2. Perform self-assessment:
You must observe yourself before you can observe others. Examine yourself impartially and consider the situation from a distance.
By reflecting on yourself and asking yourself questions, you can challenge your ideas.
Consider your response before responding.
3.Self expression:
It is easy to replace self-expression with emotional intelligence since it is impossible to imagine one without the other. People are more likely to stick with whatever they do and improve their EQ if they can identify their thoughts in a less awkward but more elegant way.
Self-expression focuses on our ability to communicate with others more effectively, to express well-considered thoughts, and to use communication to solve problems. Understanding other people's emotions helps us become self-reliant and solution-focused.
4.Stress Management:
Studies have clearly shown that people with emotional clarity and awareness are better at handing stress than others.
People who accomplish their goals don't get it because they are good at the job, but it is a byproduct of emotional and self awareness.
When we are exposed to stress without coping strategies can open avenues of severe mental illnesses.
A few simple actions we can take
1.We've discovered that the cool surroundings help us feel less anxious and more refreshed, so splash some cold water and get back to work
2. Steer clear of tobacco and caffeine; these stimulants should be avoided.
3.Take a break and go on vacation to a peaceful location away from the bustle of the city, where we can feel the serenity and lift of the atmosphere.
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